THE JOURNAL & TOPICS NEWSPAPERS | WEEK OF MAY 4, 2008
When Children Go The Extra Mile
By MAUREEN PEKOSH
I had the pleasure recently of accompanying the school choir when they went on a field trip to sing at another school in Glenview. It was hot and rainy outside which made the gym the kids were performing in uncomfortable at best. The air was so heavy it almost felt like you could cut through it with a knife. The first child started swaying, but not to the music. The astute music teacher saw that the hard floor was getting closer and closer and caught him reassuringly. Shortly afterward multiple other singers succumbed to the heat and lack of airflow or just nerves and too much standing. Most of them remained on the sidelines for the rest of the concert, a plastic cup of water in their hands and a wet paper towel on their foreheads They had been eager to go on this field trip, but they were no longer eager to perform. One child stood out though. She not only stood back up but she gave an impassioned performance.
Undeniable, it was alarming to these 8, 9, 10, and 11 year olds to watch their friends become unsteady on their feet. They had just performed for their families the previous evening. They had practiced these songs many times before to get them just right for performance time. Once they sat down, they might have felt a little better but it was still hot in the gym and the air wasn't moving. Most of them just wanted to feel a little bit better until it was time to go back on the buses. They had forgotten how important it had been to them to sing. Many of these students really enjoyed chorus this year and were sad to see it come to an end. But they no longer wanted to sing given the no longer ideal conditions.
This one girl, who performed in a show choir, which added choreography to their performance, could not wait to get back on the risers. She assured me she would take it easy when she performed, yet her smile was huge and her moves were animated. She was much more enthusiastic than a fair amount of the rest of the chorus, yet she had been sitting on a mat feeling poorly just five minutes before. As I pondered why her behavior stood out, it hit me. She really cared about this performance. She was doing something she was passionate about. She truly enjoyed this and she didn't want to miss her chance to sing and dance.
Parents so often try to find something their kids will truly get involved in. We introduce them to sports, music, plays, chess, science, and the like hoping to find something that will click with our child. Sometimes it is an inspired person who begins guiding them down an enlightened path where this new pastime becomes so much more than just a way to pass time. Sometimes it is just a natural fit between the child and the activity. More often many children attend various events and activities because they are enrolled. Though they enjoy themselves, their performance is rarely inspired.
No one, least of all a child, should be expected to offer an inspired performance all the time. An inspired performance is one given out of true focus, determination, and love of a pursuit. As a parent, it is something I hope each of my children will discover as it gives a whole new dimension to their involvement. Rather than merely passing time, participants are engaging themselves and investing their time, truly enjoying themselves while doing so. It is participating with drive, showing fervor for the activity engaged in, and loving what they are doing. It is the difference between kicking the soccer ball around every day in the yard and kicking it just at practice when the coach is watching. It is the difference between throwing pitches into a net in the backyard every day and just warming up before it is time to pitch in a game. It is looking for a chess game with anyone, anywhere, and not just playing the day of a tournament. It is practicing a musical instrument daily, not because it is assigned by a teacher but because there is a true drive for as close to perfection as possible. It is toying around with that same instrument, experimenting with what both the instrument and the performer can do together. It is spending hours reading about a subject of interest not because it is homework but because they realize they can never know enough about it.
My children participate in multiple activities. They enjoy them and ask to do them again. I would not take these experiences away from them. I can honestly say that only one of my children has found her passion. I hope it will be a passion she enjoys for most of her life. I will always enjoy watching her pursue her passion, knowing how happy it makes her. It is also encouraging to know that in the face of other disappointments, it is her passion that helps pick her up, focus on the positive, and keeps driving her forward in lower moments.
As I watched this other girl perform, I was happy to see that she had found her passion. I went home determined to put some passion back in the many things I do but sometimes forget to enjoy. I also resolved to increase my efforts in helping my other children develop such an intense love for something. I realized that until I had helped introduce them to a passion, they didn't know what they were missing.